Wasabi Cupcakes – No more misses nice guy

It’s a tough lesson to learn; even tougher when you have thinner skin than a clove of garlic.

Those who know me, know that I am nice and sweet and non-confrontational..it’s in my nature to smile and apologize for anything that comes my way regardless of if i’m at fault or not. I’m the kind of girl that would give away her last drops of water to a friend if she was stranded in the desert. I’m the kind of girl who puts others before myself always. I’m the kind of girl who bursts into tears at the slightest provocation or in the face of confrontation.In short; I never f***ing stand up for myself. Ever. Even if I KNOW that I haven’t done anything wrong, I take it upon myself to take the fall for people who don’t deserve to be helped.

I used to have no qualms about calling someone out, whether it was business or personal. I would gladly call someone out on their faults in front of others, just for the sheer thrill of being a nonchalant b**ch. But now, I always put others before myself, because that’s just how I am. After a certain point though, I realized that I was naive-foolish and way too generous for my own good. I asked myself tonight, ‘who would do something like this for YOU?’ If I was in a physical or emotional fight, who would back me up?

Nobody.

Everyone has their own self-preservation techniques; everyone has their own coping mechanisms. After a verbal argument with a coworker this weekend, I found myself bloody apologizing for something that I wasn’t guilty for, smiling and groveling despite the fact that all I really wanted to do was turn my b**ch dial up and show everyone that I am, in fact capable of being a cutthroat little girl too.

Today one of my best friends told me straight up, that I am trampled on left right and center simply because I allow it to happen. I’m easily misled and taken advantage of because of my willingness to believe that everyone around me has nothing but the best intentions, no ulterior motives. I know now that whatever is given to me at face value is worthless. Nice girls finish last.

So i’m turning over a new leaf; i’m not going to be a hostile little brat for no reason, but I AM going stand my ground and stand up for myself when it’s appropriate. All along, I thought I was just being nice. Now I know that my idea of ‘being nice’ is synonymous with ‘being a pushover.’ I’m at the point where I can either be eaten alive by people, or I can get on with my existence knowing that i’m strong enough to get by without being chewed up and spit out. No more. I’ve always prided myself on my intellect, and felt somewhat superior to some girls in a few aspects-that is, not physically exploiting myself, or ‘dumbing myself down’ for the sake of appealing to the opposite sex. I know for a fact that I am above a lot of people on an intellectual level, but I feel that i’m not showing it, so I might as well be just another girl in a short skirt and a fake smile.

So, to reiterate;

Instead of smiling and apologizing for tedious bullshit, I will stand my ground and refuse to get walked all over. If my character and intentions are questioned, I WILL set the record straight instead of letting things slide.

Smart girls know the difference between being nice and being a doormat.
Ughhhh. Bedtime. Zzzzz.

Yuri Kimura